


When I'm Small

by Princex_N



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Conversations, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Gift Giving, Light Angst, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: Roswell finally decides to try flying to the moon.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Schgain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schgain/gifts).



You're perched on June's shoulder when you make the decision. 

"I'm going to fly up there," you tell her, staring straight up at the second moon in the sky. 

June follows your gaze upwards. "Okay," she says, "Good luck." 

You appreciate that about June; it doesn't matter what you say you're going to do, June never doubts you. She just gives you a little kiss on the top of your head and sends you off once you promise to come back. 

You always do. 

The flight takes you a while, which makes sense. Apparently it's not a real moon? But it's still pretty high up there. It takes a lot out of you; you're dead exhausted when you land, but you do land. You made it. 

It's a pretty quiet place. 

You take a moment to rest, tucked beneath a park bench so that you're out of the way in case any people pass by while you preen your feathers. 

You're about to start looking for a familiar face when someone sits on the bench above you. You squeak a bit in surprise, but no one has to know about that. You're just planning on going on your way when you actually look up to see who it is. 

"Magnus?" You fly up to sit on the bench arm to get a closer look. 

He looks up, "Who's there?" he demands suspiciously before his eyes land on you. "Roswell? Is that really you? "

"Yeah," you answer, shrugging a bit. "You said to drop by someday; figured it was about time I took you up on that." 

"Holy shit," he says, offering you a hand to stand in. You accept the perch, and notice that he's missing a finger that he hadn't been before. You don't comment on it. "It's good to see you again! How've you been?"

"Pretty well!" 

Magnus interrupts to ask, "Pretty Ros-well?" 

A glare from a bird is not much of a glare at all, but you think you do a pretty good job. 

"Alright, I'm sorry," Magnus says, but his grin doesn't fade at all. "You said you wanted to travel, yeah? You been doing that?" 

You hesitate in case Magnus has any more shitty jokes to bring to light, but when he doesn't say anything, you go on and talk about some of your travels. The towns and forests that you've visited, and some of the folks that you've met. 

"Everyone back in Refuge is doing pretty good too," you tell him, in case he'd been wondering. "I go back to visit between trips. It's been good. But uh, what about you? What have y'all been up to?" 

Magnus hesitates, and you start to wonder if you shouldn't have asked. 

"Mmm, nothing much," he says eventually, shrugging. "Went on another quest, got another relic. Same kind of stuff." He's quiet for a bit; you wait it out. "I made you something though. Do you want to come up to my room to see it?" 

You're a little taken aback. It's been a long while since you've been on the receiving end of a gift. 

"Gosh, thanks. I'd love to see it."

You try not to think about old rusty armor or the soft corners of your deputy badge. 

You hop up onto Magnus' shoulder, and he starts walking. "Taako and Merle are both planet side right now," he tells you, "I don't really know what they're up to; sometimes they just leave without saying. But maybe you'll be able to stick around long enough to see them when they get back. Taako's been wondering about you, I think." 

It's still weird to think about people thinking about you once you're gone. Ever since you became  _you_ , you've been in more or less the same place. There was no one  _not_ there to think about you. But it does happen now, you guess. You leave, and go place, and leave people behind a lot now. 

You wonder if any of them think about you too. 

"We're here," Magnus says, startling you out of your thoughts. He opens the door to reveal a small and awfully messy apartment, with weapons and wood shavings everywhere. "Sorry about the mess," he says. You get the feeling he's not particularly sorry at all. 

He sets you down on a counter, "Let me go get it." He starts to walk off, and then like an afterthought, adds, "Make yourself at home."

You mostly just try to avoid stepping on anything sharp, and definitely  _don't_ spend much time looking at the chest plate in the corner. 

"Here we go!" Magnus hurries back out, and nearly trips on a discarded plank of wood. You wish you were still big enough to clean things up. He skids to a halt in front of your counter and sets something down in front of you. 

It's You. 

Well, a statue of you. 

The  _whole_ you. 

You're a little speechless.

"I tried to make it small enough so you could carry it if you ever  _did_ drop by," Magnus tells you while you stare at it in shock, "Hopefully it's not too heavy. He glances over to you, "Do you like it?

"I-," you manage to stammer. You can't exactly pin down how you feel about it, much less what to say. 

"Shit, was this like. Insensitive or something? Did I mess it up?" 

"No!" you rush to assure him, "No, I like it. I just... I miss it. My big body." 

You reach out for the statue to hold it, but as if you prove a cruel point, your arm doesn't move because you don't  _have_ one anymore. Apparently it doesn't matter how long it's been; you'll never be used to  _not_ having your big body. You'll never quite remember that you don't have that anymore. 

You don't have hands, so instead you just move a little closer to it. It really is incredible; so much detail for something so small. You can't imagine how long it took him to make it. 

"Like, I'm still me," you elaborate, looking at the tiny bird you on the statue's shoulder. "But I'm not the  _full_ me anymore. Part of me is missing." You shake yourself off a little, ruffling your feathers, "Sorry, I'm just talking a bit of nonsense now." 

"No," Magnus says sharply, his face uncharacteristically serious. "No, I get what you're saying." 

You don't see fit to ask him what it was he lost. Instead, the two of you just stare at the little statue in a somber sort of silence. 

"Sorry," you say again, "I do like it. It's like, a reminder." You know that you could never actually forget. After all, you're still constantly moving limbs that you don't even have anymore, but it's nice to look at you and see  _you_ again, even if it's not real. You look up at him, "Thank you." 

"You're welcome," he says, smiling a little at you, "Is it small enough for you to be able to carry?" 

You give it a shot. The handle of your halberd sticks out enough that you're able to grab onto it easily, and you fly a couple of experimental loops around the room to test the weight.

You set it back down on the counter as carefully as you're able, "It's good," you tell him, "It should be fine." 

"I'm glad to hear it." He leans back in his seat a bit, "Do... you want to stick around for a bit?"

You're not exactly in a rush to go another round of flying the distance it'll take to get back to Refuge, so you bob your head, "Sure would." 

You hop back up on his shoulder and the two of you go sit on his couch to watch a show. It's nice to be back on a broader set of shoulders; you love June unquestionably but she's just not as big as you were used to. You tuck yourself closer against his neck, and the longer you sit there, the more your exhaustion catches up with you. 

"Oh my god," Magnus hisses, jolting you out of the almost-sleep you were in, "You snore!" 

"I don't." 

"You do too," he croons, "and it's the most adorable thing I've ever heard." 

You shuffle sleepily on your perch, "I'm not adorable," you mutter as indignantly as you can muster while being half asleep, "I'm strong." 

"You are," Magnus agrees as you're finally falling asleep, "You're the strongest bird I know." 

**Author's Note:**

> Roswell is a good bird and I love them.  
> [my tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
